@Goofpoops

Things I’ve learned in life
1. Never tickle a stranger at a bar or at the urinal.

2….

That’s it. Just don’t tickle people you don’t know

You Might Also Like

@Demented_Jokes

The first rule of Thesaurus Club is, you don’t talk about, mention, speak of, discuss, chin wag, natter or chat about Thesaurus Club.

@WorkingMom86

My son got very excited about all the toys he found when I cleaned behind the couch, I should have waited till Christmas morning to do that

@Book_Krazy

OUR KID WAS SOAKING WET WHEN YOU BROUGHT HIM HOME FROM SCHOOL!

Me: [water pouring from backseat] Listen, this car pool thing was your idea

@SwearySpice

I just found out that there’s a dating site for people with mullets and the people who love them. Lol! *looks over shoulder* *signs up*

@MichaelJErhart

Doc: “Your arm is broken. I’ll put you in a cast for a while and it’ll recover.”
Me: “Ok, but I don’t get how being in a movie will help.”

@GreenishDuck

No one is more shocked that I brought my cat to a baseball game than my cat.

@thenoahkinsey

Tried a new flavor from my favorite brand of energy drinks.

It was the 2nd grossest taste I’ve ever had in my mouth.

(No offense, Andrea.)

@burgerkrang

freak people out in public restrooms by saying “come in” when they knock on the stall door