@Not_From_Troy

UNNATURAL ~>Homosexuality

NATURAL ~> Virgins giving birth, talking snakes, dead coming back to life, walking on water.

Confused yet?

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@JennyJohnsonHi5

I wish Bill Clinton would stop pointing his finger at everyone, Lord knows where that finger has been. #DNC #DirtyPoonTang

@phxguy88

The new Samsung phone shares every picture you take with all your friends as soon as you take it.

Good idea. What could possibly go wrong?

@KellyBXah

Moms, teach your sons to mind their manners, cook a decent meal & look for inner beauty.

Dads, teach your daughters how to throw a punch.

@Tbone7219

My girlfriend thinks I’m at work. My boss thinks I’m home sick. These ducks think I’m fuckin’ awesome because I have the bread.

@SnellWarren

My mind is always on fast forward while my body’s in slow motion. I’m just like that channel where the sound is out-of-sync w/ the picture.

@CraigChamberlin

Good marriage requires communication: My wife tells me I’m wrong, and I tell her she’s right.

@Manda_like_wine

Not only are used coffee grounds a great fertilizer, when shaped and baked they make excellent biscuits for that cunt of a dog next door.

@ManJuggs

I like to throw a fake punch at a hooker’s crotch. If she flinches, I know it’s a dude.