Him: Can you believe what’s going on in Egypt?
Me: Yeah…it’s crazy…I gotta go. Bye.
Me: *googles what’s happening in Egypt?*
Was going to rob a bank today, but the pen was chained to the desk.
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We are trained since birth that happiness comes from boobs or bottles.
Obama: Joe, look. Full moon
Biden: What? TONIGHT? *starts shapeshifting*
*Gore kicks door down*
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Local Singles 3.7 Miles From Y..
“no dont leave”
Local Singles 7.8 Mile
My wife is a beautiful, kind & giving woman who also checks my TL.
I think people who use “go fly a kite” as an insult don’t really understand kites or insults.
It started with a star and ended with a restraining order.
‘Two can play that game…’
-people who dont understand that’s how games usually work
Woke up last night and the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was standing over my bed. At first I was afraid, i was petrified.
If I had a dollar for every time I think about you, I’d start thinking about you.