@Jez1

What do I want to do to your body? I don’t know. Identify it, I guess.

You Might Also Like

@felixoshea

It takes a keen ear to pick out a girl’s “I haven’t finished but I know you’re about to, so I’ll try to be supportive” moan.

@yoyoha

Just heard they’re investigating a slaughterhouse in California for animal cruelty. IT’S A SLAUGHTERHOUSE

@timdonakowski

A new study suggests that a future study will completely contradict this study.

@mrtruthandsoul

Superman: Where’s Batman?
Wonder Woman: *shrugs*
Firestorm: I dunno
Green Lantern: …
Superman: Oh shit, we forgot Batman can’t fly again!!

@BakwasRadio

Whenever a guy peeps into my phone, I open the front cam and take a selfie with him.

@QueenVofCoffee

Me: I need to start buying gifts for people; Christmas is coming up.

Also me: *buying myself a Burr Coffee Grinder* I’m technically people, so….

@UNDEADTRESOR

My milkshake brought a colony of extremely aggressive fire ants to my yard. 🙁