@WheelTod I once watched two guys arguing in sign language.
Either that, or they were both really bad at martial arts.
@abbygov when you swipe left on a guy and Bumble says “you’ve missed a potential match!” like yeah I know I did that on purpose
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@WheelTod 
@Elizasoul80 “On my way” I said, pretending to drive my bed.
@Carbosly WOW! SNOWING EVERYWHE…. it stopped.
OMG IT’S STARTING AGAIN AND… nvrmind.
HERE IT IS AGAIN, WEEE…its gone.– Snow globe, the story.
@weinerdog4life Online piracy is bad, one time I downloaded a boat
@VeiledHeart_ Ever look at someone and automatically get a headache..
@Carbosly This guy at my work is giving his wife a gym membership for Christmas.
His name was John.
@dril in a world where big data threatens to commodify our lives,. telling online surveys that i “Dont know” what pringles are constitutes Heroism
@UnFitz Bought a shirt in the UK. Care instructions say “iron whilst damp.”
I still have no idea when to iron that thing.
@noog Calling someone with glasses “four eyes” isn’t an insult. Know what else has four eyes? Two sharks. Now you feel stupid.
@KeetPotato [reading message i found in a bottle that drifted onto the beach]
to myself: “updog.. what’s updog?”
[another bottle hits my foot]