Topic: Excited about mustard!
MustardNewbie99: Hey guys! Just tried this french mustard and it really opened my eyes! Has anyone else tried it?
InTheCourtOfTheMustardKing
412,294 Posts
Registered 3/13/2002
[SUPER ADMIN – MANDATE OF HEAVEN]
No, we’ve never tried moutarde forte🙄
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[Phone]
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ME: Well u know that jewellers where u saw that ring u love?
W: omg YES!
ME: I’m petting a dog near there
Me: this is shit, I’m changing the channel
Wife: leave the baby monitor alone
I want to walk down the street with my friends and be feared and not have people assume we’re probably on our way to a buffet.
When someone’s ignoring me I like to break into their house at night and steal all their shoes.
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DR: Good news and bad news
LADY: What’s the bad news
DR: Your husbands dead
LADY: *crying* Oh my god
DR: *holding finished sudoku behind back* Ask what the good news is
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me: Surprise!
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The worst part of eating dessert is when it’s interrupted by the nagging thought that it’s not healthy for you. So I eat really fast and beat the thought completely.
my partner’s been out of town for 6 days while I’m home w 2 kids and we’re officially in feral mode. My kid asked for her 4th popsicle of the night and I was like “yeah girl grab me another one too”
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Dog: I can turn cat poop into dog poop.
Me: please don’t.
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me: how about a raise?
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me: your phone isn’t ringing
boss: [fakes heart attack]
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ME: yep. She’s a purebred. Her name is Clawdrey Hepburn. She’s 2.
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Me: I thought the cat was trying to teach me parkour
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ME [drinking a bottle of shampoo]: *bubble noises*
Crossover ideas
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