Ladies, if he:
– only wants to hang out when he’s drunk
– never brings you around his friends
– fingers on his head
– no legs or feet
– always trying to sell you pastaHe’s not your man. He’s the hamburger helper glove
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dentist:
pirahna: way in the back
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Me: YES!
Dad: *punches my leg* Hurts don’t it lol.
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Me: I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time, sweetie.
Teen: Shouldn’t you be sitting in the passenger seat?
Me: No, this seat is better. *begins kicking her seat*
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me: i’ve got my phone plugged in back here your honor.
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No, you hang up.
“No, you hang up”
No, you hang up.
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*walks into work with massive bruise on cheek*
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