[Courtroom]
Lawyer: It wasn’t the fall that hurt you?
“No sir, it was…THE GROUND!”
*courtroom erupts*
*handcuffs are thrown on the ground*
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Boss: I need a formal resignation
Me: fine. I beseech thee, kindly give me leave of this hellhole
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Later a woman pulled me aside in the bathroom to say “sorry but I was watching… It is so funny how much you hate that guy and he has no idea.”
conversations these days
start with butterflies
and end with therapy
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nobody needs to go to school for code. if your code doesnt work just keep putting } at the end until it works
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Me: *opens door to white van* Get out Rebecca I don’t need you
I know I shouldn’t be on top of this table singing Don’t Stop Believin’ loud, off-key, and wrong, but please know it’s because I love all of you. You’re my friends, my family, an-
~ Me, right before getting kicked out of Starbucks
Not enough things are decided by potato sack races anymore.