Yes, it might be the wrong word but at least it is spelled correctly
– autocorrect
You Might Also Like
I’m a mom of 2 boys. My hobbies include always wondering where that smell is coming from and if it’s safe to pick up that towel or sock on the floor.
my brain: eat
me: okay, what should we make
my brain: no make, only eat
Trying to buy a house and the loan officer wants bank statements from the last three months but I’m too embarrassed to give them to her because I don’t want anyone knowing how much money I spend at Krispy Kreme
Google “cat”. Tap paw.
– just do it!!
That lamp looks PISSED.
If a girl has magnetic personality and still She can’t attract the desired boy.
Then that means the boy has iron deficiency.
If you like more than one type of pasta does that make you bilinguini?
Not to brag in front of all the other moms at this swim meet, but my kid can swim in slow motion.
Ah the throw away lines of children at the dinner table “I eat the shit food first”.
How is a guy supposed to take a nap in his car during lunch hour if people keep knocking on the window saying things like “are you ok?” and “you’re rolling down a hill.”
*Getting pulled over*
Me: I knew we should have Uber’d
My dog: *stopping the car* Jus be cool
I thought there would be a lot more happiness and sun in “The Shining.”
*gets catfished*
*is too polite to say anything*
*marries catfish*
Before you die, get your affairs in order so they don’t find out about each other.
Hitting someone with overdraft fees is like whipping a footless man because he’s not running fast enough.
Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea. If you add commas.
I can tell by the dents & busted tail light on your car you are serious about making this lane change work for you come Hell or high water.
*phone rings*
Yoda: Yoda
Luke: WTF VADER’S MY DAD?
Y: Uh
L: And you knew & told me to kill him?
Y:
L:
Y: Going thru a tunnel I am
*hangs up*
I asked my wife what she wanted for dinner; she said “Surprise me”. So I broke a beer bottle across the counter.
I’m still very hungry.
WIFE: You’re not going to the costume party dressed like that!
ME: DONALD DUCK DOESN’T WEAR PANTS, BRENDA!!
Please don’t be curly
Please don’t be curly
Please don’t be curlyI pray to myself as I pull a hair from my mouth while eating Chinese food
I’m sorry but I CANNOT believe that the verified Nickelodeon TikTok posted this
Cookie Monster: C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me
Spelling bee judge: You have to do the whole word
Sorry for throwing mice at your wedding.
My spirit animal just ran into a glass door.
One of my boys just hit me with a “who’s all there” text so now I’m in the club taking attendance like an overwhelmed substitute teacher
If you come across a bear, never push a slower friend down…even if you feel the friendship has run its course.
I accidentally left my speech to text on while walking my dog, this is the transcript:
It’s raining.
I’m going to be late for work.
I can’t fit my hair in the car.
I’m sorry my dog nipped your ankles, but in all fairness you do have squirrels on your socks.