Does the writer who left the space blank get upset when a note is added that it was intentionally left blank?
You Might Also Like
Thrilling chase underway
[Installing ceiling fan]
Me: drill…screwdriver… tape…there finished!Wife on the phone: Is this Bob’s fix-it shop? Yeah, he just got done.
Cryptocurrency, but it’s just dead people buying stuff.
got kicked out of the louvre for checking to see if the Mona Lisa was a scratch and sniff
I just found out that all the different colors in Fruit Loops are the same flavor, and now I don’t know what’s real anymore
don’t be sad laundry, nobody’s doing me either
Cargo pants imply the existence of passenger pants.
“I don’t know why you don’t just leave him, Elaine.”
SOMEONE PARKED IN MY SPOT AT WORK. THAT’S IT. I’M GOING HOME.
I made a list of things I would do for fried chicken. I’m not proud of the list, but not ashamed enough to cross anything off.
Someone broke in to my house and stole all my lamps. I know I should be upset, but I’m delighted.
Me: I somersaulted down a hill yesterday, just like in the movies, it was so crazy
Angel: yes that’s why you’re here
My Uber driver just told me that he’s been doing a lot of pick ups/drop offs at ER’s and Urgent Care, so, goodbye.
I’m gonna be upset when HBO starts killing off Sesame Street characters one by one Game Of Thrones style.
The Notebook (2004) A stranger harasses a nursing home resident with stories about people she doesn’t know (PG-13 2hr 3min)
Her: It must be difficult raising a child on your own.
Me: *lifting kid up* Nah its easy, dummy.
Wife: I have to go to the store. Need anything?
Me: I need a Valentine’s Day card for you. Get something nice but not too pricey.
Wife: Yep
[job interview]
employer: what skills do you possess that are helpful to the company
me: the skills that will make your other employees look brilliant
not to brag but i don’t need alcohol to send texts i’ll regret
There’s a boring horse who lives next door to me.
He’s my neigh bore.*Ba dum tishhhh!!!!*
Rich people don’t buy lottery tickets, what does that tell you about lottery tickets?
Push me aside, but I will come back. Hide me, but I will always emerge.
I AM POWER.
I AM RESILIENCE.
I AM A BRA STRAP.
I don’t know squat about bitcoin but with so many crypto experts following me, you’d think I had invented it.
My sister let me borrow her newborn baby so I could meet girls at the mall.
Worked great!
Also, If you’ve found my nephew Jake, lemme know
They’re a pack of lions
He’s some guy who hates lions
Together, they’re:
PRIDE AND PREJUDICEThis fall on CBS
I mean, really though, who hasn’t seen a UFO at this point?
I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.
CEO: what’s the store layout
me: sick people will walk to the very back for prescriptions
CEO: ok
me: cigarettes will be right up front
CEO: first of all I love it
Twitter was down earlier. I tried telling jokes on Grindr but it wasn’t as satisfying
My girlfriend is so crazy she even traced down the girl who once kissed me in kindergarten.