*watches soccer*
*watches soccer*
*watches soccer*
*watches soccer*
*has to pee*
*watches soccer*
*gets up to pee*
*misses goal*
:/
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my chupacabra don’t want none unless you got goats, hon
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Me: I hear you. I have a mild cough so my abs have been sore for two days.
[describing criminal to sketch artist]
“No, no his nose was a bit more avant-garde than that. His eyes suggested he’d lost a ladder.”
If a huge beast told me not to go in one hallway of his extremely haunted house I’d be like “that sounds right” and never go there. But no one wants to sing about that. No candles want to sing about common sense.
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Me: what happens to our energy after we die?
Doctor: no, not like that
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Doctor: not like that either
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Doctor: please stop
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Me:
4:
Me:
4:
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wife: have you tried learning an actual instrument?