Ha – mildly amusing
Haha – funny
Hahaha – sarcastic laugh
Hahahaha – stayin’ alive
You Might Also Like
You can take the girl out of the food court, but not this girl. I’m staying.
I only look good from one angle and if someone could please tell me what that angle is I’d be grateful
The toilet paper thief accidentally dropped the merchandise as he jumped over a fence.
He got away Scott free.
“Welcome to another meeting of Horse Club. Let’s try to actually get something done today. All in favor?”
Crowd: “NEIGH!”
“Jesus Christ.”
16 yo me: *about to take math final* You got this.
26 yo me: *about to run a marathon* You got this.
36 yo me: *about to start a movie after 8pm* You got this.
The best part about my sex life is all the free time it affords me.
[approaches outdoor cafe holding balloon w/face drawn on it]
Hello table for two ple- [large gust carries balloon away] OH NO MY WIFE
Inside you are two wolves as city sprawl continues driving them from their natural habitat
Whenever my bitchy Ex used to whine about something, I reminded her that time heals all wounds…
Then I threw clock at her face.
Eminem: You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
Eminem’s Wife: I have a headache
I promised my kids a genuine New Year’s party: I’ll be putting on my biggest earrings and nicest sweat pants standing on a chair in the kitchen and dropping a ball on their heads
I’m so used to sleeping on my right side that if I switch to my left, my insides feel like a room full of furniture trying to violently escape a haunted house.
Two days in a row someone has tried using my Apple Card to buy flowers. Buddy, walk over to your neighbors garden and steal some roses like a real man. The world has gone soft.
I like to watch the murder shows on Investigation Discovery so I don’t make the same mistakes those killers did.
My mother-in-law said “just do what you normally do” when she came to stay with us. Not going to lie, naked Saturday was a little awkward.
Man, I was just reminded that the world is supposed to end this year and I haven’t even started packing yet.
I brought a glue gun to a knife fight. Those knives aren’t going anywhere.
What does it mean when your therapist throws up into the trash can, not once, but twice during your session?
Been watching Dateline for years and still haven’t met anyone.
I enjoy the freedom of speech because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.
Shout out to the top 5 cakes in the world, crab, pan, pound, urinal and let them eat.
I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.
Hello lamppost, whatcha knowin’? I come to watc–
Lamppost: Nice scarf princess.
I got a shopping cart today with 4 working wheels, it was full of lingerie models and self confidence and I was dreaming
[robbers outside bank]
When I said get some masks I meant something creepy like wolf masks
“But can’t u feel your pores really opening up?”
Still my favorite television listing of all time:
Not to be racist but all of my kids sound the same on the phone.
[picking out clothes] ah yes, what lovely garment shall i stain with food on this fine day
My mom: sure use any towel.
Also my mom: not that one.
Having a heart-to-heart with our zoo’s laundry team about using our mooses’ antlers as drying racks.