It’s terribly sad, but the fact that the graphic had to be added is due to the shockingly low literacy rate among geese.
You Might Also Like
The children of the corn are probably the grandparents of the corn now. Like “no Billy Bob, only kill him a little, grandpa’s got enough for the blood sacrifice”
Waiter: Do you guys need any sauce?
Her: Yes, please. Bbq.
Me: I’ll take apple.
Mock anti-vaxxers all you want but they’ll never have to deal with their kids during those angsty teen years or go broke paying for their college.
My doctor told me I have high blood pressure and short term memory loss.
At least I don’t have high blood pressure.
Police say a man was found lying dead on his couch and wrapped in a blanket. Apparently there were signs of a snuggle.
you’re not really anticapitalist bro i remember that lemonade stand
how am i supposed to keep up with what day it is when it changes every 24 hours
The fastest animal in Canada is probably the vaMoose.
My resignation letter to HR will be delivered via glitter bomb
Sorry I chased you three city blocks but I wanted to meet your dog
[ on trial ]
me, whispering to my criminal defense lawyer: do you think the judge thinks I’m cute?
judge: we can all hear you
me: then I’d like an answer to the question
carrying too many items]
store clerk: would you like a basket
me: no thanks my arms are full.
[Applebee’s, 49 BC]
waiter: what would you like, sir
Caesar: gimme that salad named after someone famous *wink, wink*
waiter: *hands him a Cobb salad*
I was going to have sex with you, but you asked what Mario Kart was and wore pants inside the pillow fort….I’m just kidding. I don’t care.
Me: I need a four-letter word for identical
Her: same
Me: okay then I’ll get the thesaurus
I don’t care how poorly they do, I’m giving my kids straight A’s cause I’m not repeating this shit again next year.
I heard my cat walking down the hall because his claws are too long. Then I realized I hadn’t taken off his tap shoes since the photo shoot.
Disney couldn’t handle my awesome script.
Kylo Ren was Rey’s father.
Finn was her brother.
Chewbacca was her cousin twice removed.
Mother: We named you after my father
Me: Yeah, I understand how time works
[Explaining nomenclature to my niece]
Well, you see, celebrities used up all the good names the year you were born, Fancy Feast.
Weather channel: It’s going to get up into the mid-30’s this afternoon but it’ll still feel like it’s in the teens.
Me: Literally me.
I’ve walked so much today my pigeons are killing me
[princess gets captured in a castle]
[princess breaths a sigh of relief cuz she knows 2 short Italian plumbers]
This guy walked up to me and said he knew me from somewhere but couldn’t place where. I asked if he’d ever worked in a liquor store and guess what you guys?
Heard a rival dad is planning to hand out king size candy bars for Halloween so now every trick or treater that comes to my house is getting a full rack of ribs.
Went to a Halloween party at the zoo, the animals were dressed as sexy people.
Olive Garden. Where the prices are high, but the expectations are low…
Mercury is in retrograde for 20 more days. Don’t sign any contracts. Have sex with whoever you want to.
Autoimmune disease means you’re invincible to dying in a car accident.