Dear America
Would you please take the ‘s’ off the word ‘legos’ and put it back on the word ‘math’ where it belongs.
Many thanks
England
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This guy must be getting annoyed by now
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1. upside-down cake
2. hamburgers
3. not cereal tho
4. oh no cereal is everywhere
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Me: What time should I pick that up?
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But I guess the same can be said for math and geography courses.
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I wear my toque and back bacon is keen
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But I cannot compete with you
Poutine
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[me opening bedroom window]
Wife: What are you doing?
Me: *climbing out* ARE YOU COMING OR NOT?
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Me: What?
5yo: It’s bad.
Me: It’s alright. You can say it.
5yo: It means you want to fight god.
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Demon: Jim
Wife: Jim who owes us $100 or hot Jim?
Demon: Nice legs Carol
Wife: Let’s keep him. Next…
wife: YOU changed the sheets?!
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me: Surprise!
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Me: [texting mom] ok you were right about the cape
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ME [eating fifth pencil]: way ahead of ya
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