[we arrive at the Pet Sematary]
Jud: we’ll rest here, but there’s a… a place further on, it’s got power
Me: how much further on
Jud: three miles
Me: *finger guns* no thank you
[I chuck my dead cat into the woods and go home]
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HER: did u just say *turns on airplane mode*???
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– a cannibal at a swap meet
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Friend: Sure.
Me:
Friend: Why aren’t you moving?
Me: Updating software.
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Me: I have contacts.
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Me: I’ll go out with you *finger guns* for free
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Me: Yes, a medium please
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