A career website for plumbers called sinkedin
You Might Also Like
call me a mcdonald’s ice cream machine bc i dont feel like working today
*pours 2 glasses of wine*
*gives one to wife*
*gives other one to wife*
Damn it, my wife found the guy who’s been sneaking in at 11pm is the donut delivery guy. Guess I should stop pretending I’m having an affair with him.
Me: I have an imaginary gf.
Therapist: U can do better than that.
M: I know, it’s just–
T: I was talking to her.
I’ve had 3 new bosses at work in the last 6 months.
I wonder when they’re going to bring me in for questioning.
I should move the bodies.
COP: Quick, stun him!
ME: *performs perfect somersault*
In 8th grade, I had a crush on boy in my class. At some point, I found out my family was moving & I was going to switch schools. So, I wrote him a very long love letter. The day after I read it to him in front of my class, my parents decided I could keep going to the same school.
5 year old niece to me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Me: Let’s not rush things, OK?
So I listened to some LL Cool J then kept licking my lips like he does. I found myself in HR. Good thing I wasn’t listening to KISS.