@scot7a POPE: Let us all bow our heads and pray.
MICHELANGELO, from the back: Or maybe look at the ceiling.
@squirrel74wkgn [cat mom giving birth]
Cat dad: Aw, a healthy kit-
WHAT THE, twins!
OMG triplets…holy shit, 4?
(sweating)…5?
WTF IS HAP- 6 *faints*
You Might Also Like
@scot7a 
@MomOnFire If someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer just say, “I don’t know. I ran into a sliding glass door and knocked myself out, and now I’m having trouble remembering things.” That will get them off your back for a week.
@UncleDuke1969 HAPPY EARTH DAY!
Suck it, Neptune.
@DurtMcHurtt I never understood why they were called chicken tenders until I let one caress my face.
@HatfieldAnne Whom the gods would destroy, they first give the WORST leg cramp and you can’t even get up fast because the cat is on you.
@dumbbeezie I followed you because you’re hot
-Mosquitoes
@causticbob A salesman knocked on my door today.
“Who currently provides your Internet?” he asked.
I said, “My next door neighbour.”
@Roweboat13G *boss stops meeting*
Mike, is there something you’ld like to share with the whole group?
Me: Nooooo, that’s why I whispered it to Alan.
@findmydolls 78, 68, 77, 69, 78, 68, 75, 65, 75, 67, 79, 60
My mom & me, changing the thermostat behind each other’s backs.
@TheToddWilliams Teenage Mutant Ninja Wordle
⬜🟩🟩🟩⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟦⬛🟦⬛🟦🟦
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩⬛⬛⬛🟩
⬜🟩🟩🟩⬜