I CALL BULLSHIT
Let’s hear some tropes in TV/movies that are complete bullshit. I’ll start:
Dude making dinner produces a gourmet-looking dish, has a neatly folded hand towel thrown over his shoulder, and is wearing an *immaculate* white dress shirt. BULLSHIT!
You Might Also Like
“3 FOR 1 TACOS, TODAY ONLY” I shout into the megaphone. the crowd watches with bated breath.
“I’m coming down,” the man on the ledge shouts
Oh rental car. Oh rental car. Your gas tank is not on the side I thought.
I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger. But, I’m okay. Thanks.
Studies show that, on average, humans kept in cubicles live just as long as free-range humans.
Me: We will leave in a little bit
8: After you put your makeup on?
Me: I have my makeup on!
8: Oh *pause*…you look very pretty
[on a plane]
Captain: I have bad news
Passengers: *gasp*
Captain: the middle class is dying
Passengers: oh, that’s true
Captain: first class might survive
Passengers: what
Captain: *tries to land the plane backwards*
Parenting is letting the kids fight it out over who showers first while you sneak away to take your own shower without interruption.
I’ve never been #BackToTheFuture , but my mom always used to promise me she’d knock me into next week if I didn’t behave.
Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad
Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become a mermaid that lures sailors to their doom.
*turns on internet*
computor, i need to take a break from trying to achieve one thing. show me all of the achievments of others all at once
if you ever have baby fever just hang out with a toddler for a little bit?? this kid in the bagel shop just stared at me for a full minute and then announced to the entire room “I don’t LIKE HER HAIR” parents very apologetic but i’ve made an enemy for life
Please be more careful with your tacos. I just found them in my mouth.
I like how the inventor of the word “though” was done after just 3 letters but just kept going.
Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would
One of those compression vacuum storage systems but for the skeletons in my closet.
The inventor of the Venn diagram has died. He touched many lives. Some more than others.
Cashier: Hello
Me: Is it me your looking for… I can see it in your eyes..
Cashier:…
Me: Sorry, this is my first rap battle.
SCIENTISTS: there are only 90 seconds remaining on the doomsday clock
ME: [73 seconds still remaining on my microwave hotdog] c’mon… c’monnn
My swear jar is now worth more than my stock portfolio.
ME: *sees my shadow* holy shit i’m a groundhog
I have never bought a snack faster on name alone in my life.
[takes deep breath, whispers to self]
“Be brave, you got this”Me: The Nacho Everest Platter please
Waiter: Ma’am, that is for 4 people
Me: Sir, I don’t like your tone
Me: Hello, my name is Vikki and I’m an alcoholic.
Operator: Ma’am, this is AAA.
Me: I know. I’m an alcoholic and now my car is in a ditch.
“You know the speed limit here, son?”
45
“You know how fast you were going?”
88
“So where you off to in such a hurry?”
1985
What is going on? 😅
[on a farm]
Me: *sees a cow standing next to a bucket*
Oh, I’ve always wanted to do thatFarmer: Go ahead!
Me: *stands next to a bucket*
Whenever someone says, “Good question” I never hear their answer because I’m too busy congratulating myself for asking such a good question.
I think I may have screwed up. When I saw on here how the ladies liked the dad bod I went and got 3.
I told my husband no less than thrice not to get red delicious apples because they are not, in fact, delicious, so you all know what he came home with