Michaelangelo: Yea, sure, I’ll paint your ceiling.
Errybody gon be naked tho.
*I cycle off mt Rushmore and fall to my death but my bicycle lands on the end of Lincolns nose and makes a perfect pair of reading glasses*
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Attachment isn’t when 2 ppl chat night and day. When someone emails u and adds an image or data file with it,
THAT FILE IS CALLED ATTACHMENT
After announcing our weight at birth, parents shouldn’t stop. If they announced it at every birthday, we’d all be a lot skinnier.
Client said she needs to “find her zen” during our mediation and I don’t think she knows that mediation and meditation are two diff things.
Drink lots of muppet milk to keep your fur soft and manageable and your eyes their googliest.
hey I just met you
and this is crazy
but I’m going to argue with another stranger in your mentions
for hours maybe
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Do you know why I stopped?
*a saxophone wails in the distance*
My 4-year-old daughter wants anything she sees in a commercial.
Today I had to explain to her why I can’t get her Viagra.
If someone overtakes me when I’m walking, I match their speed so it looks like I’ve got friends.