I don’t care what kinda lighter you have, its fair game if its unattended. Unless its engraved, then I’ll give it back for Christmas.

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If I tell you I’m running 10 minutes behind, that means 10 minutes later than normal. So, 20 minutes-ish.


My favorite Facebook tradition is when women wish another woman happy birthday by posting a picture together from their wedding. Like happy birthday but this is still all about me.


Since finding a huge spider in my slipper I now keep em on a chair cuz my little brain decided spiders don’t like chairs.


furnishing my new place and can’t pick what dining table or chairs I want. All I know is that my nachosaurus is on the way and needs somewhere to stand.


After watching Honey Boo Boo, I realize America has much bigger problems than the national debt.


“There’s no eye in Teams” I exclaim turning off my laptop camera


I’m so confused when the TV voice before a show I’m about to watch says, “For mature audiences only.” Can I watch or not?


People who copy and paste jokes from facebook are idiots…
A few seconds ago • Comment • Like


Boy becomes Jedi, gets married, turns evil, has twins, becomes Darth Vader, complicated crap, ewoks. Boom, STAR WARS. You’re welcome, girls.