I don’t hate my job. I just really enjoy curling up in a ball and sobbing under a blanket in the backseat of my car during lunch.

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Can’t, I just saw a Facebook post that said one Thanksgiving dish is going away forever and I have to vote so we don’t lose pie.


there’s literally no way to know for sure how many chameleons are chillin in your house right now


I’m fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest you in despair and disappointments?


Kids today have it easy!

In the old days, before smartphones & Instagram, by the time we finished the painting, our food was already cold.


UNNATURAL ~>Homosexuality

NATURAL ~> Virgins giving birth, talking snakes, dead coming back to life, walking on water.

Confused yet?


It’s sad that a few fake Nigerian princes have ruined it for all the good Nigerian princes who are just looking to wire 24 million dollars.