I failed art in middle school on purpose just so my report card would say “F-Art” and if that dedication to a vision isn’t worthy of an A+ in art I don’t know what is.
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Yes I run a porn site. It was an accident.
Cat is stressing him out.
There are 3 types of pain… 1.) Pain. 2.) Excruciating Pain. 3.) STEPPING ON A LEGO!
Oh sure, a 3yo can get candy for not pooping their pants, but when I demand wine for successful defecation, I get sent home by HR.
Being a wife and mom is kind of like being a lawyer, everyone hates you until they need you
Phones down.
Told my mother that I have a problem with self-loathing. She said at least I’m a good judge of character.
QUESTIONS YOU CAN ANSWER BY PEEING ON THINGS:
1. Am I pregnant?
2. Does my boss have a very forgiving nature?
If “she’ll be riding six white horses when she comes”, she’s probably a little more woman than I can handle.
Enforcer: Kids don’t get kneecaps until age 6.
Baby loan shark: Well crap. How am I supposed to get my money out of the little snots?