@mxmclain
@nice_mustard it was the busta rhymes, it was the wursta rhymes
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@nice_mustard 
@NotKarma Just once I’d like to meet a person whose job is to make captchas so I can slap him in the face for making my life difficult.
@kelkulus Being in the friend zone is like an employer turning you down for a job, then calling you regularly bitching about the person they did hire.
@CuddleYourCat Fool me once, I buy a gun. Fool me twice, I pull the trigger.
@sixfootcandy Find yourself a partner who’ll sneak out of bathroom windows with you at holiday parties.
@KyleMakesStufUp Rap: MONEY GUNS & SEX
Rock: DRUGS & SEX
Country: BEER GOD & SEX
Pop: PARTIES GIRLS & ALCOHOL
Dubstep: BWA BWA BABWAA
Sean Paul: SEAN PAUL!
@STOTLE Wow, so it’s true… Toddlers in Tiaras is the prequel to 16 and Pregnant which is the Prequel to Intervention
@Try2StopME Customer care: Your call is important to us, please hold on.
Customer: *completes graduation* *gets a job* *gets married* *gets old* *dies*
@BuckyIsotope Ice, ice, baby. Ice, ice, baby. – Me taking inventory at the cryogenic infant storage facility.
Health food? Baby, my body is a ’93 Honda hatchback with a headlight out. I’m not about to start putting premium gas in it now.