SHUT UP. BEES CAN’T SPELL.
I have the same effect at nude beaches that sharks do at family beaches.
You Might Also Like
I’ve never seen a person look more like Danny Torrance, Shelly Torrance, and the Overlook Hotel carpet at once.
Dentist: I’m going to take your tooth out
Me: Ok then
[later that evening]
Dentist: Well this is nice
My tooth: I’m having a lovely time
that awkward moment when a friend is complaining about their spouse, but you start to identify with the spouse
“Be there in 5,” I text, though I am 30 minutes away, completely nude, and engaged in a fist fight with a neighbor.
The only thing left for CNN to do is drop Wolf Blitzer in the Indian Ocean and see how long it takes to find him.
[being stopped by the cops]
Me: if they ask about a missing dolphin just play it cool
My new best friend: *clicky noises*
Me: okay okay *i toss him a fish to keep him quiet*
Hope floats but corpses don’t, so remember: bricks or 25 to life.
All I’m saying is, no word’s meaning changes more as you age than the word party.
If you want to know how I rate in our household, my wife has one term of endearment for me and 74 for our dog.