@Not_From_Troy

I received some boob pics. Some of you men really have nice boobs.

You Might Also Like

@bourgeoisalien

the saddest part about self driving cars will be all the times people die mid trip and then ur dinner guests or pizza guy will arrive dead

@FunnyBison

“Is there a genius in the house?! It’s an emergency!”
*I start to get up from table*
*wife discretely stops me*
*I silently agree with wife*

@Maxine12333

You know you’re getting old when the kids start referring to your savings as their inheritance.

@Robert_Beau

Sunday Family Dinner:

Mother In Law: Isn’t that your third glass of wine?

Me: Isn’t that your third husband?

MIL:

M:

MIL:

M: Gravy?

@electrolemon

to discover what’s going on with justin bieber we caught up with his manager scooter braun, who is named after two different types of razors

@stuckinaportal

god: welcome to heaven, bob. today we reunite you with your soulmate

bob: karen!

god: karen? your soulmate is a japanese farmer named oshi

@primawesome

Hollywood hasn’t remade Spiderman in a couple weeks. I hope they’re okay.

@tastefactory

People Magazine sounds like something aliens pretending to be humans would call their magazine.