I wouldn’t recommend drinking too much and wrapping presents. I still can’t find my remote.
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I shouted “the blue Subaru with an Obama sticker left its lights on!” at Mt. Bachelor and had the *entire* hill to myself for an hour
Why isn’t Cindy spelled Sindie? Whoever caid C makes an S cound was ctupid.
My family’s dull. All through his teens my brother had his head buried in a book before dad exhumed it & reattached to the rest of his body.
The other guy on this cliff screaming at the sky just threw his wedding ring over which makes me feel less bad about losing my kite.
me: thanks for the new bath toy
her: you’re welcome
me: oh and it makes toast too?
I’ve never seen a single Star Wars movie and I plan on keeping it that way simply because, the reaction I get when telling someone I’ve never seen them, is far more enjoyable than any movie I’ve ever seen.
Ok, it’s nearly 3.30 am here, someone give me some good sleeping tips! If I don’t answer you know they’ve worked!
Instead of “single” as a relationship status, it should read “independently owned and operated”
If you’re going to the hospital for a covid-19 test make sure you bring with you a valid form of identification along with a printout of your IMDB page and/or your Basketball Reference stats
If you want to know who serves the best fries ask your vegetarian friend bc that’s all we order at 50% of all restaurants