@s_cLaN07
@DirtMcTurd Life advice:
1.Never be afraid to say what’s on your mind
2.Never be afraid to do what’s on your mind
3.Don’t take life advice on Twitter
You Might Also Like
@DirtMcTurd 
@Petote Sorry I headbutted you, I was gonna punch you but, I was holding wine.
@Cheeseboy22 I’m offended that horses don’t put their hooves over their hearts during the National Anthem when they win a gold in equestrian events.
@candlelit_moth If my dad were alive today he would say, “Mark stop telling people I’m dead”
@krystaunclear Genie: what is your first wish
Me: can you fold this fitted sheet please
G: I’m a genie not a witch
@DamienFahey Billion dollar idea: An app that sends you a text when the light turns green.
@NurseMurderer This earthquake was the first time that I’ve ever said, “it was 4.7, but felt bigger.”
@rebrafsim Are there a lot of first-person singular objective pronouns, or is it just me?
@Molly_Kats I’m really good at acting like I’m sorry the elevator door is closing and you missed it.
@LeonEarlgrey Hey girl are you my golf clubs? Because I tottaly forgot to take you out of my trunk.