Reasons to not go camping No.154:
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world…
Just heard local reports of a stalker, which is funny because I watch everyone through their windows and none of them look suspicious
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Him: how did your duel with your nemesis go?
Me: *kicks stone* we were approaching each other from a distance and I drew my sword too early and had to hold it out for ages like a doofus
There’s no such thing as a 10 second rule, with a 5 second dog.
It’s cute how my family thinks I’m playing with fire and I’m just trying to cook them breakfast
In a dog eat dog world, the chocolate lab is the most delicious, yet poisonous of all breeds.
Dingo: The dingo community is known for many other things
TV Host: What are cooking for us today?
Dingo: I’m making my famous baby coleslaw
If you could just go ahead, get a plane & spell it out in the sky for us, that’d be greeeat.
Edgar Allan Poe Because Edgar Allan Got No Job
Boxing and fencing
Two sports that have nothing to do with boxes or fences
Just heard a lady tell a 4yo to “get it together!” I’m not sure she knows how 4yos work.