My neighbor’s dog is so popular that every time he barks, the neighborhood dogs RT him.

You Might Also Like


evanescence – noun: the process of vanishing or fading out of sight, memory, or existence.

So that’s what happened. Great band name, guys.


Taped a note to the beehive warning the Queen to recall her bees or face a flamethrower. Bitch called and told me to suck her bee clit. 🙁


The Tin Man carries around an axe because he is constantly afraid Ironman is going to hit on his wife.


My superpower is turning food and drink into larger pants.


I can still remember the words my father said to me on my wedding night “let’s hope this ones not a whore like the last one!”


When you watch a movie and two persons kiss when they wake up, are you all awww, or are you a normal person wondering if two bad breaths cancel out?


There is no life on earth without water.
Because without water, there is no coffee.
And without coffee, I’ll kill you all.


I accidentally took a woman’s multi-vitamin this morning. I have been trying to get dressed now for 2 hours but everything makes me look fat


why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo. who has hair on their shoulders. whos shampooing their shoulder hair. please come forward