
[•[•[•[•[•[•[•_•]•]•]•]•]•]•] Lego guy gang comin right at u
[•[•[•[•[•[•[•_•]•]•]•]•]•]•] Lego guy gang comin right at u
Are you alone? Afraid? Lonely? Then you’d better turn up the TV because I just heard a noise
accidentally called dragon ball Z pokemon and 8 talked to me for 5 hours on why I’m so wrong. Help.
[leaving birthday party]
wife: Drive safe, we have precious cargo *smiles at kids*
me *looking at the piece of cake in my lap* I know
I’m God’s gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
So let me get this straight: Trump supporters are butt hurt because someone overgeneralized them and called them a mean name? Oh, the irony.
I had a beautiful pearl of wisdom to tweet but I dropped it on the ground and one of my dogs ate it. I should have it back in 12 hours or so
*sees lawn gnome cartwheel into room*
*calls to renew prescription*
Ouija boards are officially obsolete, now that the dead can read messages addressed to them on Facebook.