@amitanatverlal He can talk about his favourite Indian flatbread, naan-stop.
@SteveKoehler22 Staples is attempting a hostile takeover
of its rival Office Depot.Office Depot has retaliated by
snapping rubber bands at Staples.
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@amitanatverlal 
@IHideFromMyKids My 7yo learned that a seal in French is a “phoque” and like every Canadian child before her, she is enjoying this sweet swear loophole to its fullest
@IfIwassomething When someone comments that you look like you don’t have an evil bone in your body, it’s always good to have your xrays on hand to prove them wrong.
@CVTBaby Me: *mouths I love you*
Him:
M: *blows kiss*
H:
M: *adjusts my pajama top*
H: *empties the can & hops onto the side of the garbage truck*
@simoncholland My kid brought home a school fundraiser packet in case anyone wants a $43 roll of wrapping paper or an $80 candle.
@StcyBnsn Back seat drivers are all the same..
“Why we going into the woods?” “Let me out”
@SadieSkyNinja Sorry that I took a picture of my armpit and tried to pass it off as my thigh gap.
@DamienFahey 13 Types of Regret You’ll Experience After Clicking on a Link to an Article That Won’t Live Up to its Exaggerated Headline
@BarryVonAwesome I don’t consider it a good night out if it doesn’t end up as a super villain’s origin story
@pixelatedboat Doctors recommend that you drink 8 glasses of water a day and don’t fall out of a helicopter