With literally no way of knowing if you were cursed by an evil witch as a baby, why would you take a spinning class?
This is probably going to sound really gay, but the sunset is GORGEOUS right now and I love making out with dudes.
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I took my family out to an authentic Chinese restaurant. My wife and I had chow mein and my daughter built 3 iPhones
Me: i’ll have a Dr.Pepper
Waiter: is Mr.Pibb ok?
Me: is he a doctor?
I am not paying for a full year membership at the Y when I only need the pool long enough to hold one hamster Viking funeral.
No. He’s not coming out to play
I haven’t swam competitively since I was a sperm.
*watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*
TICKET AGENT: and will this be round trip?
FLAT EARTHER: here we go again
Finally found a way to use egregious in a sentence that has nothing to do with it’s meaning