ME: *seductively removes her G-string*
HER: Could you please just hurry up and finish restringing my guitar?
Tobacco causes Cancer
Alcohol causes Dancer
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hey Disney-Pixar here’s an idea maybe make a movie where the daughter ACTUALLY LISTENS TO HER FATHER
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When I say “let me think about that” it means I’m gonna ask someone smarter than me
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Me: I’ve completed a psychological profile on myself.
Brain: What have we learned?
Me: I need to stop talking to myself or wear a Bluetooth device on my walks.
Brain: Will this help to keep people from staring at you?
Me: Maybe wear clothes too.