United States: There’s 5280 feet in one mile.
Rest of the World: What even is that?
United States: Lol, we made it up.
You Might Also Like
shark tooth fairy: *throwing fins up in the air* I quit
20s: I’m on top of the world!
50s: stop the world I want to get off!
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement.
-Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90’s TV
In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time. 10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends. Stay in school kids.
u could put a horse in a time machine and send it to any era and the horse’s life would literally be the same
My kids don’t like going to bed because they think exciting things happen after they’re gone.
Little do they know them going to bed is the exciting thing.
Sorry I’m late, there was an octopus throwing pies at me so I was literally… Occupied
*puts down window
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Yes
*puts up window and drives away
My friend called me from a private number last night so I just returned the favor by knocking on his door with a ski mask on.
I decorate for Halloween by opening my bedroom curtains as I walk around naked. Pretty scary stuff for my neighbors.