@amburgklur This is the hardest I’ve laughed all morning:
@BonaFideIntent Where’s the gratification in tearing down another human being? It’s much easier to have heart, than walk w a self-inserted rod up your ASS.
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@amburgklur 
@Marlebean *interrupts your heartfelt story*
Oh NOW I hear your New York accent!! Say “dying wish” again!Ok now say “coffee”!
@QwertyJones3 General Lee didn’t have kids?
A parent Lee not.
@LostFelicia Sometimes I have a life and other times I surf YouTube videos looking for a good fight in the comments section.
@o__0Dev I suffer from premature procrastination. It’s when you procrastinate before even receiving a task…
@goodgrief_rats Whoever invented the carpet sweeper probably died laughing.
@Sassmouth14 My husband still waves to policemen like a 5 year old.
@ch000ch request for a new client, your honor, i think this one’s guilty
@dlockw21 I saw a bald eagle carry away a bunny rabbit today, and I was like, “well, at least somebody gets to be held.”
@TragicAllyHere Why are ghosts always just moaning? Did your manners die too? Use your words!