Pennywise does live in the sewer, rent free. That speaks to financial discipline. And he eats children, who are also free. Based on that, I’m gonna say the name is more likely earnest than ironic.
You Might Also Like
I don’t always drop things when looking in the fridge, but when I do, it’s a Costco size box of blueberries
“i don’t think i’ll have kids”
-plain
-invites arguments“this bloodline dies with me”
-assertive
-metal as hell
-implies you’re taking on a great and noble burden which allows no arguments
“fine! leave me because I talk like I’m in a novel but you aren’t taking the kids, he exclaimed”
Free pizza at work got me like “Fine, I’ll come back on Monday”.
Homeless man: Spare some change for a cup of coffee?
Me: *Bends down to eye level* You don’t look anything like a cup of coffee
Oh yeh? Explain this then
Me texting friend: Hey! What’s up?
Buddy: *sends picture of ceiling*
Me: I am so glad I didn’t ask “how’s it hanging”
Do chicks with anchor tattoos that say “never sink” know that anchors are made to sink?
Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.
In the next James Bond movie 007 has to prevent a Congolese arms dealer from selling nuclear-grade plutonium to a Nevada couple planning a gender reveal
Melo: “What I gotta do to get signed?”
NBA:
I’m at the grocery store at 10pm buying a bottle of wine with a bag of quarters… I understand why you want to see my ID.
7-year-old: Can we leave the house?
Me: We could go for a walk.
7: And then what?
Me: Come back to the house.
7: I’ll just stay here.
True dat! 😂😂😂😂
Can’t believe my ‘Eat everything you want and hope for a miracle” diet is not working!
Me: Alexa, tell me a joke.
Alexa: I’m afraid I can’t due to all the updog.
Me: (long pause) Alexa, take over my Twitter.
put my earbuds in so i wouldn’t have to talk with the man next to me on the plane and he asked if he could “borrow one so we could listen together”
if you’re too polite to ask your date to leave just whisper “Mother might be getting cold in the pantry” while staring nervously at your kitchen.
Hubby’s head seems like it’s almost twice the size of mine.
We are never having children.
I’m not one to give parenting advice, but kids are a lot less likely to fight you on eating dinner if you don’t give them lunch or breakfast
What do you call an upset reindeer?
Caribou-hoo.
*Ba-dum-tsss
Has there been a movie made about giant killer candy corn yet? If not, I feel like there needs to be.
[pulling my wife out of the sewer]
her: this is why you have to put the toilet seat down
Dog: Uh oh. Gonna puke.
Cat: OK, what you wanna do is, keep walking. Puke every ten feet or so. Make sure you get under the bed.
my mom: we found this under your bed and we are very disappointed *pulls out copy of “drugs for dummies”*
my dad: lol nerd
me: does anyone here play baseball
england: *crickets*
Sci-fi is when Wonder Woman fights villains from outer space, fantasy is thinking Wonder Woman will go on a date with you.
Police Sketch Artist: We need to get his face out there ASAP. I’m going to need you to describe him to me.
Me: He looked like the type of person who wouldn’t be ashamed to ride a tricycle in public.
Police Sketch Artist: *pencil poised* Um…
Me: That’s all I got my man.
PSYCHATRIST: wat do u see
ME: a rorschach test
PSYCHATRIST: and this one?
ME: a inkblot used to test my psyche
PSYCHATRIST: (starts sweatig)
Made some terrible life choices the last few years.
Just kidding. I’m married and not allowed to make decisions.