Seeing a lot of people questioning how a bridge that big can collapse that quickly, so as someone with an engineering degree, I’ll try to break it down from a technical perspective:
Bridges aren’t designed to withstand a giant ship crashing into them. Hope that helps!
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People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.
If you could have dinner with any person, living or dead what Arby’s would you go to?
Things I’ve learned in life
1. Never tickle a stranger at a bar or at the urinal.2….
That’s it. Just don’t tickle people you don’t know
Pretty sure it’s easier to break a person out of a maximum security prison than break a Barbie doll out of its package.
Sleeping in a tent is so relaxing. You can hear the leaves rustling, the loons calling out on the lake and, if you listen closely, whimpering teenagers crying out softly “wifi, wifiiiii”.
Scientists: You’re all going to die. The Earth is doomed. Life is pointless.
Also: We spent millions on a woolly mammoth meatball no one can eat.
My cat is bilingual. He ignores me in both English and Spanish.
Yes, I am a fully grown woman.
No, I won’t leave this ball pit.
Yes I’m full of microplastics but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware
I learned today the the gender neutral version of Sugar Daddy is Glucose Guardian and I support that
In light of all the stressful things around us right now, let’s take a moment to appreciate the cheapest luxury in the world. You don’t HAVE to get all dressed up to share a platter containing 12 pieces of toast with someone special…but don’t you think you should?
What kinda psychopath tries to get in touch with someone by calling them on the phone. What is this…1984?
What the world needs now is love, sweet love…
And an extinction level asteroid.
Hey Shakira, I get it. With all of these nachos and tequila, my hips don’t lie either.
lucifer: let’s give them free will and see how they choose
God: nice lol I’m gunna steal your idea and send you to hell
lucifer: what?
it’s a van. how do they not know this
Called Comcast to see about dropping my service and long story short, If anyone wants to watch Showtime, call me on one of my 36 landlines.
[1st date]
HER: So do you have any hobbies?
SALT SHAKER: Nice dress! It would look great on my floor
HER: What?!
HIM: Just ventriloquism
Barnabas had a lazy eye.
The other, however, was a real go-getter.
[first day as a negotiator]
Me: release one hostage
Terrorist: no
Me: release half of one hostage
the food pyramid is a conspiracy by big triangle to sell more triangles
I like that parents of every generation have collectively agreed to keep the “a special chemical will turn the water (arbitrary contrast color) if you pee in the pool” lie going.
Blinded by the light is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.
Asked a guy in the garden area of Home Depot if he had anything that won’t die.
He replied: My Mother-in-law!
We fist bumped.
Eels, the slap bracelets of the sea.
Remember, your neighbours aren’t going to be attacked by killer bees on their own. You have to want it. You need to make it happen.
I hate when I read something so offensive on Twitter that my monocle falls out of my eye and into my brandy snifter.
Told my wife I’d marry her all over again, and we both understood it would only be to get more gifts.