We don’t thank them enough for it, but it was really cool that the Black Eyed Peas realized what they were doing was wrong and stopped.
You Might Also Like
“This syrup tastes funny…”
-Me, drunk, putting soy sauce on my pancakes
Survey: Are you a Democrat or a Republican?
Me: Labels are for soup cans
Survey: Can you tell us which way you’re leaning?
Me: Clam chowder
[War of 1812]
American: Let’s invade the British North.
Other American: Upper or Lower Canada?
A: idgaf
LATER:
Her: You’re an insensitive jerk.
Me:
Her: You only think about yourself.
Me:
Her: And your tweets aren’t funny.
Me: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
ME: i saw a guy on the back of a van
FRIEND: …and?
ME: that’s it i guess
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Don’t let people push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon, because that shit is fun!
Inventor: …And so these closed captions will help a lot of people.
Investor: I can see what you’re saying.
They say people with pets live longer. Many assume it’s all the love and affection. I think it’s all the bending down to pick stuff up.
Honey I Shrunk the Kids : A Beginner’s Guide to Steroid Use
Stewardess, the door just blew off the plane. Can I get a blanket?
I need a way to roll up a car window between me and a person talking to me when I’m not in a car
Bringing back the word zoinks but only for when someone shows me their baby.
didn’t receive my miso soup. how do i send a picture of something that didn’t arrive pls deliveroo?
(Auditioning to be a bird)
*accidentally walks into a sliding glass door*
DIRECTOR: Wow, she’s really good.
Guy at the Acme Corporation: Ah, some dog in Arizona wants to buy a rocket launcher. I’ll send him a really shitty one
Not to brag, but I’m NOT going to buy a fitness machine, like a Peloton, only to have it turn into a clothing rack.
I’m going to eat until I reach the point where I, myself, am the large, stationary clothing rack in the corner of a room.
Cannot stop laughing at this
If you piss me off bad enough and tell me to leave you alone, I will take 30 Adderall and send you cat pictures every 3 minutes for 6 days.
I cleaned out my car and washed it, and now I feel like I can properly look down on others like god intended.
Of course I have body issues, I can’t explode into a thousand crows.
A bunch of bras is called a support group.
Thanks for following.
My family is driving me more nuts than usual. If you find me wandering the streets in a daze, please don’t return me home.
“Honey, can you come here?”
“What is it?”
“There’s something in the tub.”
“Spider?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Just squish it.”
“Can you please do it?”
“Stop being such a baby.”
had calamari for the the first time ever and it wasn’t that bad, maybe I’ll try marriage next
I’ve never related to a meme more in my life #gradschool
Batman: can I have some fettuccine alfredo
Alfred: right away, Bruce-o
Protip: If you’re bad at geography and someone asks about an obscure country just say “isn’t that where the oiled up Olympics guy is from?”
When I was little and asked Mom how to spell a word she’d hand me a dictionary so when she asked how to do emojis I handed her a 13-year-old