I made a list of the top 10 most popular wordplay jokes, to see if any of them actually made me laugh.
No pun in ten did.
You Might Also Like
What’s it called when you plant a ghost pepper plant and when it starts making peppers you don’t eat them because you’re afraid they’ll be too hot?
I’m that
The first snow has arrived and now we will see how many don’t know how to drive
Bite me again
– my bottom lip
Neighbor: Oh your baby has beautiful big eyes!
My wife: Yeah, like his dad
Me: *Stares suspiciously at our gardener Sauron*
A Goofy Movie gave me unrealistic expectations about what I could and couldn’t do with aerosol cheese
[painting a picture of the last supper]
“Who’s that?”
“Darth Vader.”
“Was he 1 of Jesus disciples?”
“I dunno, I’ve only seen the 1st movie.”
I took one of those DNA tests and found out I am 30% mashed potatoes.
Thanks for pointing out that I misspelled a word that I completely made up.
I stand incorrected.
The 1yo did 4 squats and then ate a cookie so he’s my new personal trainer now.
[Airport Departures]
We have a family-friendly policy to always seat children onboard with their parents
Me: Even if I pay extra?
A fun thing to do would be to eat rat poison during a dinner party & then, when you die, they’ll blame the host’s cooking. Lol.
THE HORROR!
*splat
THE TRAGEDY!
*splat
IT’S AWFUL!
*splat
SO MUCH BLOOD!
*splat
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!
*splat-It’s raining men.
“Kids today are pathetic” is NOT a good take from the generation raising today’s kids. It’s like giving a bad Yelp review to the restaurant you run.
my mother is taking me to see the monday matinee showing of the barbie movie as a mother should.
Just told my kids they had to share. Now they are dressed in long blacks wigs singing if I could turn back time.
My 11yo just asked me if I was gonna be a “single Pringle” forever and I’m laughing so hard I can’t even be mad.
they say you swallow 7 spiders a year in your sleep but have you considered not sleeping under a pile of leaves in your back yard
It’s so cute he threw in “hereby” as if it means anything.
“I hereby order the Cubs to win their next 20 games.”
Oh your boyfriend proposed? Well I just realized my new dress has pockets, so I think it’s obvious who’s having a better day.
I put the “rad” into “gradual descent into madness”
My 6yo wouldn’t eat his chocolate chip muffin bec there were too many chocolate chips in it, and now I…I just…I’m gonna need a min here.
I’d like to have a child one day. Two days, tops.
I asked my husband to play bagpipes at my funeral so I can be happy that I’m dead.
“LOOK, MA!!!!! NO DIGNITY!!!!”
Electric planes are the future, as soon as someone figures out how to make extension cords long enough
Every day, I win arguments from 10 years ago in the shower.
My 10 year old neighbour just threw a cup of water over my cat who was sitting on the fence minding his own business n laughed so I threw a basin of water over him from the window and now his dad is at my door going mental but I don’t see the problem, don’t touch my cat
ME: *burps a little under my breath*
MY 5YO: [from 3 rooms away] say ‘excuse me’
Of course I’m more of a yeeeeeee-haaaaaw! than a wooooohoooo! kinda guy because Texan and whatnot.
FB is the Flanders of social media, Twitter is Moe.