Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
You Might Also Like
I no longer dislike Mondays, i’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.
I don’t know how many capes and tutus are the maximum one person should own; I just know my daughter doesn’t want to discuss it.
I’m a barista which means I have 100 boyfriends and everyday they each give me one dollar
Got my first dose of the vaccine and, so far, the only side affect I’ve noticed is something I haven’t seen reported (and it may just be my imagination), but I think the vaccine has made me better-looking.
Hotel Security just knocked on my door to deliver a package. He asked for indentification. I showed him my book,with my name and face on it
i love googling stuff. imagine not being able to google stuff. i would know next to nothing about the great molasses flood of 1919.
Some lady at Olive Garden died, so we’re rummaging through her stuff. Just like a real family.
Mothers just don’t eat their young like they used to.
“You promise you didn’t get me bees again”
[me from a distance] just open it
I found an old avocado under the seat of my truck yesterday. It was guacamoldy.
Me: Can you believe someone on Facebook is trying to sell a bucket of old screws?
Husband:
Me:
Husband: How much?
[First day as a crime scene photographer]
Detective: please stop telling the corpse to “work it”
My One A Day multivitamins actually have directions on the bottle – “Take one multivitamin daily.” Hmmm
I swear people love me but my Uber score says differently.
Mario: can I buy you a drink?
Peach: ew get a life
Mario: *eats mushroom* …now?
As a funeral director, I always tie the shoe laces together of the deceased.The zombie apocalypse will be hilarious.
Everyone hated math in high school, but when y’all get screwed on your pay check.
BOOM, suddenly you know algebra and calculus
*BF walks in on me surrounded by dozens of empty Reddi Whip cans*
ARE YOU HUFFING AEROSOL?
Me- *Mouth full of whip cream* –
Yeff
Is it the 5 second rule or the 10 second rule?
Well, either way, I wouldn’t worry too much about any germs. Here’s your baby back.
Q-tips have a wide variety of household uses
Who gets custody of us when Twitter dies?
Drink lots of muppet milk to keep your fur soft and manageable and your eyes their googliest.
[doctor’s]
INVISIBLE MAN: Am I cured doc?
DR: Your tests are all clear
IM: Is that good?
DR: [talking to wrong empty chair] I’m not sure
Me: Why is there a rolling chair in the kitchen?
Husband: Well, I know you injured your leg.
Me: And?
Husband: And I thought it would be easier for you to cook dinner.
anyone who thinks chickens come out of eggs is an idiot. have you ever seen a chicken? it’s like 500 times the size of an egg. jesus christ
*tornado takes out half of my house*
Me: (without looking up from my phone) hey guys is the internet not working for you?
The car salesman said my vehicle will seat five people without any problems. How am I suppose to find five people without any problems?
Someone just commented they wanted to be my husband and I blocked them..
I don’t need that kind of negative talk..
Me: so I’m delusional?
Doctor: yes.
Me: and you’re a delusion?
Doctor: yes.
Me: I want a second opinion.
Pink Dragon: you’re delusional.
my beach body is like my amazon package: delayed indefinitely