If by multitasking you mean ruining my life in more than one way at a time, then yes, I’m multitasking.
Absolutely batshit that they had one Irish character in Harry Potter and they just went with Seamus Finnegan. Like calling an American character Huckleberry McRib.
You Might Also Like
Top 3 screwdrivers:
1. Tool for turning screws
2. Vodka and orange juice
3. Method of Uber payment
UBER: Sounds better than “Let’s get in this strange man’s car!”
Brother: *calls* Can you pick me up at the airport tomorrow?
Me: Sure. Can’t wait to see you.
Him: I land at 5 AM.
Me: I have no brother.
Next time someone knocks on your bathroom stall say “Sorry, I’m with a client.”
My husband said he bought the toupée for me, but then got upset when I put it on. I dont get men.
I’m great at making pancakes and women uncomfortable.
Take your kids to see Santa so they can learn how to sit on a strange man’s lap in return for gifts.
*Husband forgets to close screen on door*
*4 hrs later*
Me: *feels furriness on my leg in bed*
My husband and I often laugh about how competitive we are, but I laugh more.