
Shouldn’t Captain Crunch be Colonel Crunch by now? Apparently cereal mascot is a dead end job.
Shouldn’t Captain Crunch be Colonel Crunch by now? Apparently cereal mascot is a dead end job.
I want to be featured on the news and the caption below me to read *unintelligible screaming*.
[as one million ants are carrying me out of my bed to toward their cavern to eat me alive] please let me feed my neopets first
*after eating 5300 calories of chinese food in 1 sitting* is nausea a symptom of covid
Jay-Z has an underachieving brother named Lay.
But I really needed water water water
I met a young fashion designer earlier, and it wasn’t long before I was in the bedroom ripping her clothes off.
I love counterfeiting stuff
No YOU are a drama queen said the fainting goat to the opossum.
Most days I wish I were an octopus so I could slap 8 people at once.
[at my comedy central roast after every joke] That’s not true