Don’t tell me what to do

You Might Also Like


Blonde in laundromat asks to have
a sweater cleaned.

Attendant : “Come again ?”
( not hearing )

Blonde: “Nope, Just mustard this time”


If I had gone to Rydell High, I would have walked right up to Rizzo and asked, “Rizzo? Is that short for Chorizzo?”


Computer dating is fine… if you are a computer.


Friend: Did you already eat or do you want to get some food?

Me: Correct.


There is no law stating that you have to explain why you’re carrying a purse full of hair when going through security.


[A field]

*An elderly Louie Pasteur and I sit among the clover, I hold a shotgun*
Me: It’s time to put you out to pasture. *Cocks shotgun*


Hi, you’ve reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?