God: you’re a baby shark-
Baby Shark: doo doo doo doo doo doo.
God: w-what was that?
Baby Shark: sorry go ahead.
God: a baby shark-
Baby Shark: doo doo doo doo doo doo.
God: that’s like super annoying.
Baby Shark: hee hee.
God: doo doo doo-great now it’s stuck in my head.
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me the second I feel that first breeze of autumn
Roses are red
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Bad boys bad boys
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Raise your hand if you’d like to go back to more simple times when clowns were in the woods scaring us.
Journalist: what are your thoughts on the arms race?
Me: I strongly believe that races should be done with legs
Me: *curling my hair*
Olympic committee: That’s impressive, but not exactly what we are looking for.
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And so so dumb.
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Me: [starts learning how to juggle saucepans]
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Dumb Bob: You add S.
T: *amazed* Yes! Come up to the board and show us.
DB: [writes] SNAIL
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