Got kicked off from Instagram for eating my food before posting a pic of it.

You Might Also Like


step 1. log onto instagram
step 2. find wedding day hashtags, ex. “SmithWedding2014”
step 3. use hashtag
step 4. post pictures of yaks


I like to mute CNN and imagine they’re arguing about what appetizer, or appetizers, to order at TGIFridays.


I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent and now he’ll never have any friends.


“Objection your honor, the defense is badg-”
*Judge gives a respectful nod* “Case dismissed.”


Kim Jong Un has upgraded himself from “Leader of North Korea” to “Supreme Leader of North Korea” by adding sour cream and extra cheese.


Curiosity should start overthrowing the local government and drilling for oil any minute now.


Cleared my browser’s history and cookies after having sex with my GF.


This is your captain speaking. Would someone who knows how to be a pilot please come up? I’m literally just pressing buttons.