Me: (after eating 12 fudgesicles)
Ok. Time to get to work.

You: You can actually buy popsicle sticks at any craft store.

Me: Don’t question my art.

You Might Also Like


What idiot called it Black Friday and not Welcome to the Jingle


My Dyslexic Cat thinks she has ” P ” no. of lives.


*bends over to pick a four leaf clover but gets struck by a falling ACME safe before doing so*


“I’m still at the airport, actually.” -A woman next to me on the train just now


hot girls stay up late just so they can finally have some alone time


I shot a man in Reno,
Just to watch him cry.

It was just a Nerf gun you big baby!


When people ask, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”, I reply “Yes, we were best friends as children until you murdered my puppy.”


stranger: you’re gunna look stupid with all those tattoos when you’re 80

me: listen pal, everyone looks stupid when they’re 80


Wife: What did I ask you to do?

Me: Love you forever?


M: Kill a man to defend you honor?


I was getting there.