Me to 15: aw, you’re so handsome in your school pictures! Stop growing up so fast!
15: I just heard you and dad saying you can’t wait til I move out so my room can be a home gym.
Me: ……sooo handsome though..
You Might Also Like
@MissNaughty1801 @funTweeters I love my boys eldest is getmeabeer youngest is whatthefuck
[edison inventing lightbulb]
[match appears over his head]
I have an idea
That guy who ran through the White House could go to prison for ten years, so there’s another reason I don’t run.
Wife: He’s just so literal all of the time, he gets so confused
Psychiatrist: Is this true?
Me: [worried] Are u really gonna make me shrink?
The CEO of IKEA has been elected the Prime Minister of Sweden…He’s currently assembling his cabinet.
If there’s a kid acting like an adult in your ad I will not buy your product and I’ll buy your competitor’s product even if I don’t need it.
Teacher “Hi, why are you here?”
Me “Um, isn’t this the beginners’ philosophy class?”
Teacher “Yes and you’re off to a really bad start.”
I hate it when people who are younger than me complain about being old. They’re all like… well, I forget what they say, but it’s still annoying.
“Two can play at that game”
-guy who’s confused about solitaire.
I make all my clothing choices based on what I would look like if I’m unexpectedly asked to bounce on a trampoline at some point in the day.