@notmythirdrodeo
@jwoodham Everyone’s talking about how Shia LaBeouf plagiarized Daniel Clowes, but nobody said anything when Kristen Stewart plagiarized paint drying.
You Might Also Like
@jwoodham 
@Tbone7219 Three things that are certain in life~
1) Death
2) Paying taxes
3) Somewhere a woman is pissed at a man ….
@Home_Halfway 2022 be like
@_NTFG_ We woke up to a noise.
I grabbed a bat.
He grabs a can of body spray.
“Really? Gunna make this burglar irresistible to women huh?”
@Lisa_Laughs_ They’re not all brilliant, but they’re all mine. Meaning my tweets, and maybe my kids, whatever.
@NikiWithIssues Some days I want to leave everything and just run away with him. Other days I want to own 3 baby dragons and be fireproof and naked.
@LeahsLounge Learn cursive, they said. You’ll need it your whole life, they said.
@egg_dog don’t eat yellow snow is a pretty sound rule but i would warn against eating any kind of weather
@thatdentaldude “The following program is intended for mature audiences only”
Me: *leaves room
@BeingDBEAST Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!!