No, these are my formal Crocs. We’re at a wedding, Sharon.
You Might Also Like
If you removed every blade from a 747’s engines and laid them end to end, you’d go to prison for rendering useless a $357 million aircraft.
Dated a mime once – God was it good – he did sooooo many ~unspeakable things~to me ….
Hi, my name is Pan. It’s short for Pam.
[When Harry Met Sally, 1989]
HARRY: Hey
SALLY: Sup
*roll credits*
I’m uncomfortable sharing my feelings with you but completely comfortable standing next to a complete stranger while urinating.
Guys.
More like Kermit *A* Frog, there are other frogs
When a little kid starts crying at a sad part in a movie so you quickly explain it’s all make-believe to make her feel better but she starts crying louder because she just realized all the movies that made her happy are bullshit too.
Judge: For the crimes you have committed you will go to prison for 10 years
Me: That’s a long sentence!
Judge: Ok – “you get 10 years”
Received a DM from a dude who claimed that he knows me in real life.
I can’t guess out who he is, probably I have to kill my friends until I get him.