@yung__spider Jaws (1975): people started hating a shark for doing normal shark things
@SoNotThePoint_ Since finding a huge spider in my slipper I now keep em on a chair cuz my little brain decided spiders don’t like chairs.
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@yung__spider 
@what_a_messs Babe, can u vacuum a Chess board into the carpet again? the guys r here for a lifesize game
*guys standing around in armor & kings outfits*
@sbellelauren i think only bears should have the right to bear arms
@TheTweetOfGod Free will is good, but free pizza is better.
@kevinthedad until I had kids I had no idea that it was possible for someone to drink water with such ferocity
@loribuckmajor I like to finish other people’s sentences because
my version is better.
@OllyiConic I like to shit with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
@danjan13 I’m on chapter two of the dictionary and this thing is just so disconnected. Like, what happened to the aardvark from the beginning?
@DurtMcHurtt Her: See ya later alligator!
Me: *slithers into swamp*
@KyleMcDowell86 *puts stethoscope up to chest*
Dr: I dont hear..U don’t have a heart Karen
“Did my ex Kyle put u up to this?”
*Im in the bushes giggling*